Bye, Bye, Baby

There are moments in life when the physical world around you seems to be telling you loud and clear the truth that you sometimes don’t want to hear. Whatever step it is that you’re making, if you have half a thought of sticking your head in the sand and trying to ignore it, you sometimes have to work hard to pretend it isn’t imminent.

I’m currently struggling with a disappearing act happening in our house. Where there used to be play mats, rattles, and diaper changing supplies suddenly there are doll accessories, art supplies, and plastic miniature toilets. What finally got me though, was the long-awaited arrival of a “big girl bed.” Because the bed was assembled in my daughter’s room, we had to move several pieces of furniture out of the room to make space for it, namely her changing table and her crib. I walked into the room and looked around -- all evidence of my “baby” seemed to have vanished. In its place was a bed with sheets, pillows and a quilt and a little more space to play. I realized that the baby had left the building and there was now a little girl living in our midst.

Don’t get me wrong -- I love not having to change diapers anymore, and get a kick out of having my daughter walk out of her room fully dressed without any help. It is thrilling to see her using imagination to play for significant periods, and amazing to realize that at 2 1/2 years old her head reaches my waist already. I love seeing her sleeping in her big girl bed, seeing the girl she is growing into. These are some of the greatest joys of being a parent.

But the yang to the yin of seeing your child grow and develop is that there is a grieving process as a treasured time in your child’s life passes. They are two sides of the same coin and I actually love the dual feelings of elation and sorrow. Somehow they balance each other and make the other even sweeter.

I hope the next time you are passing through a transition in your life, you can see both the yin and the yang, the joy and the sorrow, and by doing so, live more fully in the moment.